A Life of Hatred
by Redwhisker of Shadowclan
Summary: This is the story of Mapleshade, from her point of view. It takes place when she has an apprentice and stuff. I hope you like it! One-shot


One-Shot

I sat in the forest, watching as the leaves fell the the ground. It was the beginning of Leaf-fall, and hopefully my kits would be born soon. I'd heard that it was bad if they were born in Leaf-bare

"Mapleshade!"

I whipped around to face the cat I loved. Ripplestripe raced across Sunningrocks and into the trees to sit with me.

"I haven't seen you for moons." I breathed, my heart pounding. The dark tabby tom looked me up and down and leaped to his paws, backing away from me.

"They're your kits." I murmured, silently willing him to be excited, but my hopes were in vain.

"This can't happen." He gasped. "What do we do?"

I shrugged, I hadn't really thought about that. All I wanted was to stay with Ripplestripe forever, and I thought he wanted that too.

"Do you want to come to Riverclan?" My mate asked. I debated with myself for a few moments, but shook my head. "You know that I want to become the leader of Thunderclan, so I can't leave."

"What if they find out that I'm the father of your kits?"

I hesitated before answering. If my Clanmates found out, I would have a slim chance of becoming deputy after Briarpaw killed Brackenclaw. **(Shout-out to katienicole426!) **

"I won't tell them, and neither will you." I decided. "If we both keep our mouths shut, then there will be no problem." I twisted around and began grooming my ginger and white pelt.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about this?" Ripplestripe pawed at the ground. "We've done something that Clan cats shouldn't do. We crossed borders and we could be severely punished if anybody found out."

I hissed quietly and shoved my face into his. "Like I said before, we won't be telling anybody, so there's nothing to worry about. Remember, it's not just my reputation that would be ruined by this."

Ripplestripe snorted and began padding toward the river. I sighed and shook my head. Now I was going to have to apologize to him. He slipped into the water and paddled across to Riverclan territory.

"Wait, Ripplestripe." I called. "I'm sorry."

"Me too, Mapleshade." The black tom sighed. "Me too. This can only end badly."

I narrowed my eyes. "Not if we're careful. You will be careful, won't you?"

Ripplestripe dipped his head. "I wouldn't do anything to ruin us. I need to go now."

I purred lowly and hurried back to camp, my heart as high as the Great Sycamore. I looked up at the night sky and saw the stars twinkling down at me. My ancestors obviously didn't disapprove of these kits, or of my meetings with Ripplestripe. Our love was meant to be. I chuckled to myself at that thought. Who would have ever guessed that me, Mapleshade, of all cats, would find love across the river? I'd preached to my apprentice, Briarpaw, since day one to focus on herself, and nobody else. I hadn't managed to follow my own advice, but I've seen something in Briarpaw that I don't possess. She had so much more potential than I did. Briarpaw was able to completely separate herself from everyone, unlike myself. I was weak in that one area, love.

**(A MOON LATER)**

"They're beautiful." A silver and white she-cat gushed, looking down at my newborn kits.

"Thanks, Briarpaw." I meowed gratefully. My kits were just a day old, but they were perfect already. I had a dark gray she-cat with lovely tabby stripes, she was almost the exact copy of Ripplestripe, so I named her Ripplekit. The other was a flame-colored tom, I named him Firekit.

I motioned for Briarpaw to lean closer. "I want you to keep your training skills honed. Don't become soft because I'm in here. Remember what you promised me."

Briarpaw nodded and backed away. "Don't worry, Mapleshade."

I closed my eyes and basked in the happiness that was my life. Everything was perfect, just perfect.

**(HALF A MOON LATER)**

My kits were old enough to play on their own, so I had some free time. I left them with Briarpaw and went to Sunningrocks, to see if I could meet with Ripplestripe. It was almost Leaf-bare now, so I had my kits just in time. Blizzardtail said that they would surely make it through this Leaf-bare, as long as I made sure to take care of them. I sat on the rocks, letting the sunlight wash over me, appreciating the warmth. Time passed quickly, but I couldn't find Ripplestripe. Finally, as the sun began to set, I decided to give up and go back to camp. I turned to leave, but a glimpse of a black pelt made me freeze and stare across the river.

"Mapleshade." Ripplestripe hissed. My heart leaped and I ran to the edge of the river. Ripplestripe swam to me and nuzzled my side. "You had the kits."

"A half moon ago." I informed him. "We have a she-cat and a tom."

"What are their names? What do they look like?" Ripplestripe demanded.

"The she-cat is dark gray with black tabby stripes, she almost looks exactly like you, so I named her Ripplekit. The tom is the color of a flame, so I named him Firekit." I purred. "They're amazing."

"That's great." Ripplestripe meowed, but it sounded forced. I ignored that and opened my mouth. "Do you scent that?"

Ripplestripe copied me and nodded. "It's Thunderclan."

I pushed him toward the river and he hurried to his own territory.

"Who's there?" I called. A flash of sandy ginger fur made my own ginger and white fur bristle.

"Sandcloud." I snarled. I dashed toward the camp, trying to beat him there. Or maybe, if I just caught up with him, I could kill him, or have Briarpaw kill him. My thoughts were in vain, because when I got to camp, Sandcloud's tail was slipping into Dawnstar's den. I sat down and seethed, waiting to see what would happen. Finally, Dawnstar and Sandcloud emerged and padded straight toward me. I stayed calm and acted like I didn't know what was going on.

"Your kits are half Riverclan." Dawnstar whispered. I sat up straight and nodded. "It was a moment of weakness, but I can promise you that it won't happen again."

"Sandcloud just told me that he saw you and the warrior Ripplestripe together. He said that he overheard you two talking about Ripplekit and Firekit. It all makes sense now, Mapleshade." Dawnstar sighed, exasperation tingeing her usually kind meow. "You named one of your kits after their father, that doesn't show that you're over your Riverclan mate. I don't think you should be welcome in this Clan anymore."

My blood ran cold and I watched as my Clanmates, even my own apprentice stared at me, shock evident in their faces. I ran into the nursery, snatched up my kits and left the camp. I was taking them to Riverclan. I made it to the river and began to swim across with Firekit, but I soon realized that I would have a hard time with Ripplekit. It was tiring with just the smaller one. I managed to get Firekit on the opposite edge of the river and swam back to get Ripplekit. When I was about halfway across with Ripplekit, Firekit tumbled into the water. I tried to reach him, but he was long gone. I felt Ripplekit's scruff slipping out of my teeth and soon she was following after her brother. I wailed for my lost kits, but nothing in my power could help them. They were gone. I dragged myself onto the bank and tried to find my kits, but they were nowhere in in sight so I trudged to the Riverclan camp. I was welcomed by the entire Clan with bared teeth and raised hackles. They took me to their leader's den and the gray tom shook his head sadly.

"I'm here to ask if I can join your Clan." I choked out, my throat was tight from grief and exhaustion. Just the trip to their camp had felt like it took moons. The Riverclan leader, Stormstar, looked at me with pity in his eyes. "Why would you want to be here?"

"I had kits half a moon ago, and their father was Ripplestripe." I explained.

"I heard about that." Stormstar sighed. "I'd hoped you would drop the entire situation and forget that you'd ever been with Ripplestripe."

My jaw nearly dropped to the ground. "What? He was happy that we were having kits."

Stormstar sighed again and shook his head. "He told me as soon as he found out, and he didn't want them. Speaking of which, where are the kits?"

I bared my teeth and hissed at the gray tom. "They drowned on the way over, so there's nothing to worry about I guess. And I'm assuming I won't be welcome in Riverclan."

"I'm sorry, Mapleshade." Stormstar replied. "Go back to Thunderclan."

"They don't want me either." I snapped. Something inside of me broke and I stormed out of the Riverclan camp. Now what was I going to do? Living as a loner would be difficult. I looked around, making sure I was alone before speaking what was on my mind.

"I will be a rogue." I was too bent on revenge to be a loner, so a rogue it was. I would make both Thunderclan and Riverclan pay for what they did. I would feed my hatred for them, just like I'd trained Briarpaw to do. Briarpaw! What would she do without me? I'd figure that out.

**(EPILOGUE)**

I'd spent about two moons as a rogue before I was killed, but I'd had my revenge. Ripplestripe was dead, but his Riverclan mate had kitted not long after, giving birth to a little she-kit that looked the same as my Ripplekit. I'd killed Stormstar twice and now he was on his last life, so that was an accomplishment. I'd killed one or two Thunderclan warriors, but they weren't the ones I wanted. I wanted Sandcloud to die a slow and painful death.

One thing I hadn't realized when I was living is that Starclan doesn't accept all cats. When I died, I went to Starclan for only a few moments before they sent me to the Dark Forest, but it doesn't matter. I've learned to walk in dreams and I have an eternity to improve on that. I'll train Briarpaw until she's the warrior I'd intended her to be while I was alive. I will have my revenge on all those who hurt me!

**Hi, Redwhisker of Shadowclan here. This is my first Fanfic and I was inspired by katienicole426's Torn, I hope she doesn't mind where I went with some of the stuff she's writing about. I'm grateful that I didn't have to come up with my own back-story, so thanks a bunch katienicole426. Please review my story honestly, tell me what you like and what you don't! No flames please, though.**


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